Praten en communicatie

Met praten breng je over wat je wilt zeggen en met je totale communicatie vertel je wat je bedoelt. Volgens de NLP opleiding die ik ooit volgde, was de manier waarop wij communiceren verdeeld in 93% non verbaal en 7% verbale overdracht. Wandelcoach NederlandVoor mij was dat jaren geleden een openbaring. Het bracht meer inzicht in mijn persoonlijke communicatie en die van de mensen om me heen.  We halen dus de betekenis van wat er gezegd wordt vooral uit de intonatie, de gezichtsuitdrukking en de houding van het lichaam.

Totale communicatie bepaalt het effect van je woorden

Op (Engelstalig) stonden een aantal uitdrukkingen die we eigenlijk allemaal kennen en dus ook vaak hetzelfde interpreteren. Onbewust zijn er in communicatie dus een aantal ‘standaard’ uitingen. Alhoewel ik niet denk dat het per definitie altijd klopt. Het checken wanneer het om belangrijke zaken gaat, is wel van belang. Grotendeels kende ik de uitingen wel en helpen ze mij ook in mijn werk het verhaal achter de woorden te herkennen. Eentje die voor mij nieuw was, was dat wanneer je aan je oor trekt of pakt, dit een uiting van besluiteloosheid is.

Een aantal uitingen heb ik in mijn leven  bewust ingezet. Zoals ‘schouders naar achter’ en met benen een wijde stand aannemen, om mezelf een gevoel van zelfvertrouwen te geven. Zo werkt het namelijk ook. Wandelcoach NederlandWe zijn in staat om met het aanpassen van onze lichaamshouding iets anders over te brengen en onszelf een ander (bijvoorbeeld positiever) gevoel aan te meten.

Praten is niet zo belangrijk, maar de totale communicatie die je voert, die bepalen de effecten van je woorden. 

Gewoon leuk om weer eens even bewust te zijn van! Benieuwd naar de voorbeelden in het artikel? Die vind je hieronder.


  • Lowering one's head can signal a lack of confidence. If someone lowers their head when complimented, they may be shy or timid
  • Touching or tugging at one's ear can indicate indecisiveness
  • Sincere smiles encompass the whole face (noticeable in the eyes)
  • A false smile usually only engages the lips
  • Tilting one's head can symbolize interest in something or someone
  • Overly tilted heads can be a sign of sympathy
  • Closing of eyes or pinching at the bridge of one's nose is often done when making a negative evaluation
  • When a listener nods, this is usually a positive message and relays that they are interested and paying attention
  • However, excessive nodding can imply that the listener has lost interest but doesn't want to be rude
  • Touching/rubbing one's nose may indicate doubtfulness or rejection of an idea
  • Sticking out one's chin toward another may show defiance
  • Resting a hand on one's cheek is often done if they are thinking or pondering; and stroking the chin can mean the person is trying to make a decision


  • Pushing back one's shoulders can demonstrate power and courage
  • Open arms means one is comfortable with being approached and willing to talk/communicate
  • Folded arms show that there is a sort of barricade between them and other people (or their surroundings) and indicate dissatisfaction
  • Resting one's arms behind their neck shows that they are open to what is being discussed and interested in listening more
  • Pointing one's finger can be construed as aggression or assertiveness
  • Touching the front of the neck can show that someone is interested and concerned about what another is saying
  • Hand movements that are upward & outward signify positive and open messages
  • Palms that are faced outwards towards another indicate one's wish to stop and not approach
  • If one's fingers are interlaced or if the finger tips are pressed together, it usually shows that a person is thinking and evaluating
  • If offering ideas to other people, many times the sides of one's palms are close together, with fingers extended


  • Putting your hands on your hips can show eagerness and readiness (also, at times, aggression)
  • Hips pushed forward, while leaning back can show that one feels powerful (also can be a suggestive gesture)
  • A wide stance - where one's feet are positioned far apart - signifies more power and dominance
  • When one sits with legs open and part, they might feel secure in their surroundings
  • Crossed legs can mean several things: relaxed/comfortable, or defensive - depending on how tense the leg muscles are
  • When you cross your legs towards another person, you are showing more interest in them than when they are crossed away in the other direction
  • A confident and powerful position is the "Figure of Four Cross" when one's ankle is atop the other leg's knee and the top leg is pointed sideways
  • Bouncing your foot if your legs are crossed can show that you are bored or losing patience 


  • The lowering of the eyes can convey fear, guilt or submission
  • Lowered eyebrows and squinted eyes illustrate an attempt at understanding what is being said or going on
  • A lack of confidence or apprehensiveness can be displayed when you don't look another person in the eyes
  • One tends to blink more often if nervous or trying to evaluate someone else
  • If you look directly into another person's eyes you are displaying self-assurance
  • Wide eyes show more of an interest in a subject or person
  • If you are irritated with a comment made by another during a conversation, a common movement is to take a quick glance sideways
  • Staring at someone can be an aggressive gesture or suggest that the one staring feels dominant
  • Recalling a memory is usually done by looking up and to the right
  • Looking directly upwards can indicate that one is thinking
  • Eye contact is normally broken if someone feels insulted by another

Veel communicatieplezier!